Y U No Have Hair?
by GoldRohirrim
Summary: The Tenth and Eleventh Doctors are absolutely mortified to learn that the Ninth Doctor doesn't have a mop of amazing hair like they have. The Ninth is a bit stunned to find out that his future is a dandy and a clown. (Don't take that seriously) [One-shot]


**Just my thoughts on what would happen if the Ninth, Tenth, and Eleventh Doctors met in the TARDIS. The Ninth Doctor is there for humor. He's also there to say that fezzes and bowties aren't cool. Not that I think they aren't! - Rohirrim**

** Disclaimer: I don't own any of these Doctors. Though I really want a TARDIS and a Sonic Screwdriver. **

* * *

"What? Huh?" The Ninth Doctor took a step away from his future selves as they both looked at him with a mix of confusion and horror, as well as something akin to mortification on the Tenth's face, something that made his 'clever' glasses fall to the ground. The Eleventh was staring at him with narrowed eyes, which he also managed to widen, turning his look into a completely patronizing face.

"You don't have any hair." The Tenth stated in complete revulsion, reaching up to comb his fingers through his mop of brown hair. The Eleventh ruffled his own, taking the fez off as he still stared, frozen in shock and terror at the lack of hair on the Ninth Doctor's head. The Tenth picked up his glasses and squinted at the Ninth Doctor, looking completely disbelieving that his former self had no hair at all. It turned out looking like he was a squirrel.

The Eleventh Doctor coughed in disgust, spitting on the ground as if to rid something foul tasting from his mouth. It was uncertain if he was disgusted with the squirrel look on Ten or of the fuzzy hair on Nine. Finally, the Ninth spoke.

"Just wonderful. I have a dandy and clown set in store for me in the future. Just wonderful." His voice dripping with sarcasm, the Ninth glared at the Eleventh who had rolled his eyes at the Ninth Doctor. The Tenth copied the Eleventh Doctor dutifully, rolling his eyes. The Ninth's glare turned on the Tenth Doctor, who completely ignored it. Eleven sighed dramatically and sidled into the corner of the TARDIS as the Ninth dashed around the Control Room, flicking switches. Finally, he turned to look at the Tenth, who now began to have a glaring contest with Nine.

"I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool." The Eleventh Doctor interrupted the staring contest. The Tenth Doctor cocked an eyebrow, looking mildly interested. The Ninth Doctor looked relieved the attention was no longer directed at him alone. "Bowties are cool. Do you have a bowtie?"

"No, and I don't ever plan on getting a bowtie or a fez." The Ninth said snappishly. The Tenth shifted uncomfortably as the stares were directed at him. Eleven gave him a knowing smile.

"I wore a bowtie once. Bowties are… cool?" The Tenth groaned comically at the last bit he had said, turning a bright shade of fez red. It came out more like a question then a statement, though.

The Eleventh smiled winningly. "I'm studying squirrels. I want to know if they can talk. I sonic'd myself once, you know. Made me go a bit crazy in the head. Felt like I was drunk, woozy, and very, very, tired all at the same time."

"You are crazy." The Ninth muttered, feeling a bit annoyed that he was stuck in the TARDIS with two fools who were his future. He wished he had shot himself earlier. Bowties were definitely not cool. Fezzes even less.

"The squirrel thing is… is… interesting." The Tenth said weakly. Just don't do anything like tell him that he's a talking squirrel, Doctor. "I don't think they can talk, though. It would be interesting if they could, though."

"Yes, very." The Eleventh agreed, fiddling around with his bowtie. "What if we turned… Ten into a squirrel?"

"We already have a talking squirrel." The Ninth said sarcastically, stating exactly what the Tenth Doctor had been thinking just a couple seconds ago. He pointed at the Eleventh Doctor, who pushed him childishly. There was a humorous look on his face, though, instead of a competitive one. The Ninth laughed and shoved him back. "I wholeheartedly agree with turning Ten into a squirrel, though."

The TARDIS hummed a warning. Ten spun around, raising his dented eyebrow at Nine, who shrugged as a figure began to appear in flashing lights. Eleven took a deep breath, recognizing him immediately. The jacket, the awkward smile, the hat, everything. He froze and closed his eyes, waiting for the freaking paradox to happen, because he was already with two of himself, so why not happen now?

"Crikey. Crickety-cricket."


End file.
